So check this out...

I've applied for not one, but TWO teaching positions. Oh yeah, before long you'll all be forced to call me PROFESSOR Sprague. Doesn't it just feel good to say? Try it out...oh yeah, that's the stuff.

Pretty soon, I'll look like this:

Or, perhaps more appropriately considering my latent, and as yet to be discovered, facism, this:

You all know what I'm talking about. The similarities are startling. Startling.